with eyes wide open

It’s officially Autumn weather here in the STL. Maybe even a bit cooler than the average October. I don’t mind though, cause that means necessary layers which I love, but which looks and feels terrible in the summer. I don’t, however, like to layer it up while I’m at home. It’s a very strange thing. I actually wear as little clothing as possible while still maintaining proper roommate etiquette all throughout the year. So when I’m home and freezing cause we don’t want to turn the heat on there’s a problem.

The problem with turning the heat on so early though is that she wins. She, being Mother Nature and I look and feel like a wuss. She pulled a fast one here though. One day it was literally 83 degrees and the very next day it was 53. Wuss! Oh my word, I was such a wuss. I pulled out my heater fan, which I just think is the best thing ever, and warmed myself up.

However brilliant heater fans are, they are big energy suckers for being such small things.  None the less, my roomy had the same wussing out- heater fan experience. One thing led to the other and we flipped our breaker. Not such a big deal on a Saturday morning at 4 am when everyone gets up to their cell phone alarm anyway. It was a bigger deal when I was in the shower at 7 and the lights went out. You never really know just how dark those windowless interior rooms are until you’re unexpectedly left in the dark… in the shower, potentially already having your eyes closed… because it’s 7 in the morning on a Saturday… and you’re still not quite awake.

As I stood in that shower for those few confusing moments of darkness I thought about……. how dark it was. I know, pretty profound right? But really it was for me. I often do close my eyes in the shower and in those moments I could not tell whether my eyes were opened or closed. That’s how dark it was. But then the lights came back on and I could clearly tell darkness from light- eyes shut or eyes open.

2 Corinthians 4:4 says “In their case (those who are perishing vs.3) the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.”

I thought about how the god of this world, Satan, works and how he so blinds people that when they are in the dark they don’t know when their eyes are opened or when their eyes are shut. When in darkness, they don’t know that they are necessarily in darkness. It all looks the same with eyes open or with eyes shut.

But then light comes. John 1:5 “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”  When the light comes it clearly distinguishes between dark and light. I know for certain whether my eyes are opened or closed. Even if I chose to keep them closed I know that light is on the other side.

Matthew 4:16 says “the people who walked in darkness have seen a great light,… on them a light has dawned.” 

 A light has graciously dawned on those who believe. It was no work that we did to make the light shine, it simply did and at that moment our eyes were opened. We don’t yell at physically impaired blind people to see because they in themselves cannot change their circumstances. Likewise, it is pointless to yell at a spiritually blind person. Instead, with eyes wide open, we speak of what light is like and pray that they too would have eyes pried open stepping out of darkness into glorious light.

A Day of Autumn

Today is the first full day of Autumn and I felt every bit of it. I participate in this day the way people get amped up and dress out for Cardinals' opening day. I dreamed last night of dancing in falling leaves, purposely rolling my bike along the the side of the road just to hear the crunch. I dreamed of driving through the mountains with every tree being more brilliant than the last. Of long talks and hot drinks. I love Autumn. So, when my alarm went off this morning at 6:00 a.m.. I gladly woke and began my day.

I of course already had the outfit laid out; well the bottom portion at least. Whatever I wore I knew it would consist of the brown lace skirt and the boots. Anything else would simply be a bonus. So a fitted sweatshirt over a lace cami would have to do. I'm pretty sure this is going to be a staple outfit for me in the time ahead. None the less, today was a celebration so it called for a flower in the hair of course. And it was just nippie enough that a scarf had to accompany it. A quick change of purses and the outfit was together. I stepped into the air of Autumn. I love that first deep breath.

I love my drive to work. The roads leave the towering buildings in my rear view mirror, but ahead are nothing but cliffs and trees. It is beautiful. Everyday I get to see the leaves change a little bit more. This week though a fog has settled over some low lying areas of my commute. And though I know it's dangerous for drivers, I get lost in the romance of it. I always imagine my modern Mr. Darcy breaking through it to come to me. Always. 

Today I had the joy of stopping by the grocery to pick up some things to make pumpkin muffins with the kids. Though they didn't have hot coffee I got myself a Starbucks drink and a Heath Bar for later, because for me if there's a candy that says happiness in Fall it's candy with toffee. Yes, please. (Sidebar: I literally just remembered that Heath Bar still in my purse, yay for not letting food consume my thoughts!)

To every person I crossed paths with I smiled and said Happy Autumn. I drank my coffee. We ate our muffins. We had a dance party at the end of the day. And life is as it should be.

Tomorrow after the Cards/Cubs game I'll put my Fall decorations up, drink some cider, and pull out my warmer wardrobe, craft, read, and of course pop in You've Got Mail. I love Autumn.

Autumn Prep

Today was a terribly rainy day. The kind that makes you drive slowly AND move slowly, specifically when you walk by your bedroom. Debating whether or not to just rest your eyes for a minute. One of those kind of rainy days. My debate lasted about 2 seconds before I caved and nestled into my now ready for fall bed.

Do you change your bedding in preparation for cooler temps?

I add a creamy white fleece blanket and another brown fleece sandwiching the sheet so I get weight and warmth. Oh my goodness it's heaven! Are you a weight lover? I've had this discussion with others before and I didn't realize not everyone enjoys feeling the heaviness of things on them sometimes. Clearly I'm a person with some extra sensory needs. In dog piles I would gladly take the bottom spot just so I could feel the weight of others piling on. During massages one of my favorite parts is when they put the weighted warm blanket on your back. But when I don't have that sensory need, which is rare, the things surrounding me better be light as a feather but as soft as a cactus. I can't stand the touch of things too soft, like those baby blankets. Yeah, they make me cringe. Oh, sensory needs. So interesting, but I digress. 

So, I'm up right now due to a combination of things. One, I drank a cup of green tea around 10. Mistake. But to my advantage, I finished a load of laundry and began folding it only to stumble upon stain upon grease stain. A tube of my favorite lip gloss slipped into the laundry without me noticing, took off its lid and spilled its content all over my clothing. I don't know if you've ever had to deal with that kind of stain but it is a process, let me tell you! So, I'm now up, waiting to see the product of my efforts of scrubbing with a toothbrush and various products.

Besides this sad little incident this weekend was pretty fantastic. I spent all of it pretending I was a cowgirl and living in my boots. I only took them off to sleep. I love how I look and feel in boots. I may have just started a bit of an obsession for myself, especially for this fall. Oh, boots!

Source: polyvore.com via Angie on Pinterest

Wordless Weekends

  

Wordless Weekends

Friendly Friday

Autumn always makes me miss Home. The beautiful trees, winding roads, hayrides, the football games. Oh I love the gentle smell of wood starting to burn in those dusty fireplaces. Most of all though, I love the warmth of a home. The dim lighting, the savory smells, the open windows. Ah, it makes me want to cuddle right now.

And it makes me miss B. B's house always feels like Autumn. There is always something delicious being made, some gathering being held. People + Food = Love There has never been a time at B's that I haven't felt completely wrapped in love. She is just a phenomenal person that way. With her sassy red hair, that smile, and those hugs, it's impossible not to feel welcomed and loved.

I think another reason I just love B and why I miss her so much right now is because something about Autumn makes me want to be a little southern. To have a little twang in my speech and to shamelessly drink sweet tea. Well B does it. She can't even help but have that southern charm and she will kill a diabetic with her sweet tea but you wouldn't be able to be mad at her because you'd know she'd made it in love.

God knew what He was doing when he brought B and Jeff together. She, so beautifully and gracefully, pulls off being a pastor's wife. She is so loving, patient, and kind. I'm sure you've seen or at least heard of some pastor's wives that just can't make it. I don't blame them, marriage is hard work, but then add married to a pastor and we're talking a whole nother level of hard. The great thing about B is, I'm sure even as she's reading this, she will always attribute that gracefulness she has to God's grace. She is humble and that is beautiful.

So, B, thanks so much for all your love and encouragement even if from Home, 100 miles away.

Get a Clue

Dear Summer,

I don't know when it happened. I don't even now how it happened but I am completely in love with Fall. I wish this wasn't so awkward, but you have got to go! I thought maybe you would get the clue when I pulled out all Fall's stuff. When you saw porches decorated with leaves, pumpkins, and hay. For Pete's sake when you noticed Halloween candy and costumes being sold. I mean maybe it wasn't completely obvious to you as I always rock a pretty sweet cardigan but I've been trying to give you the clue by adding a scarf and even searching through catalogs for flannel shirts and cowboy boots! Come now, cowboy boots?! If these things don't have Fall written all over them, I don't know what does. So, though I know I will regret this come mid winter I want to let you know I'm not interested in you anymore. Not your heat, not your mosquitoes, and not your swimsuits. But as for your friend Fall, tell him I'm in the market for a new season. hmmmm, yeah a new season, some cooking, snuggling, pumpkin muffins, and apple picking.

I like you, but I'm just not that into you anymore.

All Things Lovely

Does anyone else adore a great porch on a picturesque fall day? There is nothing better. A cup of something spicey and delicious, a book or a friend, and maybe a throw to cuddle into. Ahhh, perfect!

Wordless Weekends

Pumpkins in September

I enjoyed this delicious piece of pumpkin bread accompanied by a sweet cup of Pumpkin Spice Latte! Here's hoping you enjoy every morsel of September.

Pure Autumn

picture courtsey of bing.com

Hey there September, I've missed you.

I've been thinking about how much I love Fall lately, but specifically September. Though Autumn doesn't begin until the 23rd I classify all of sweet September as the purest of all the Autumn months. October and November have Halloween and Thanksgiving while September stands on it's own in the simple beauty of Fall. Nothing to enhance, just pure Autumn. Maybe it's the fact that first is generally the best. The first taste of a delicious morsel, the first kiss, the first to cross the finish line.

Now please don't get me wrong, I enjoy October and November as much as the next person but there's the newness of Autumn that's worn off by then. Which is why it's great to have these holidays tossed in there to keep you liking the season. For me though, it's never quite as much as the first.

So, in honor of the first day of the pure month of Autumn I'm doing a little Fall decorating, lighting a pumpkin spice candle, wearing orange and brown, and baking! Happy Autumn to you. (in 22 days) :)

Apple Pie, Warm Spice, Perfect Temps

I am longing for fall. For rustling leaves of splendid colors. For scarfs, jackets, and flats. I'm longing for hayrides. For warm sweet scents to fill my home. For apple picking, warm colors, and cuddling in throws.

This week I had the divine tasting of Renae's Apple Pie, Starbucks Chai Tea Latte, and God's cool blessing in August. It makes my heart quicken thinking of the joys of fall. It makes me think of The Wellman House. Looking out from the porch, across the highway to my favorite back road canopied with towering trees, leaves chasing the tail end of my car, a stream winding, and pastures littered with animals contributing to the smell of fall.

I miss that little town. What it lacks in amenities though, it makes up in ambiance particularly in the fall, by the river, in the park looking out over the perfect scene with a train whistling in the background. It's pretty perfect.

But maybe this little city will offer it's own beauty this season. Maybe I'll be able to appreciate it more this year than last as a year does quite change perspective. Maybe I'll find some cozy coffee shop with fun little trinkets and sweet graphics. Or maybe I'll find an avenue with welcoming little store fronts and even better treasures. Maybe I'll go to that park and explore a bit. Find a little niche, bring a blanket and a book, dream a little.

Hmmm... maybe.