We are in the midst of revival (the program) at Calvary. Some are in the midst of revival independently. The Lord is in the midst of revival in me! It could not have come at a more perfect time, as Friday I found out that I did not get the position at HLG. A call to be obiedient in resigning, has ended with me having no job and my true FAITH being tried. Do I truly believe that God is who He says that He is and will do what He said He will do?!!
I am finding my faith stronger than it was but it took me 2 days of mourning. If I didn't care about my clothing or skin I'm sure there would have been some tearing of garments and covering with ashes! I'm so blessed that the Lord has graciously set me up with a great community of support. I got the letter and immedietly went to Jessica's and sobbed into her shoulder. She just let me stand there in the doorway sobbing like a baby mind you. I sat silent on her couch and I knew she wasn't trying to think of the right words but she was praying on my behalf because such disbelief filled me that I couldn't pray. I was sooooo sure, this is what the Lord wanted for me. Had I heard Him wrong? Did I miss His plan? She then prayed over me and helped get me refocused.
I took Saturday to be alone and do a little medicinal shopping. That didn't really work because things weren't going to give the answers I wanted, the comfort I desired. SO I came home and went to bed in the middle of the day. He would not leave me there though. Jess called and invited me over to be with the fam. Somewhere in there Lisa Lehenbaur and I were together, comforting each other with words of perserverance... WAIT!!!! Blessed are those who wait on the Lord.
So today, though I still have pangs of anxiousness I am learning what it looks like in my life to truly surrender and be obiedient to God when I can't see the path to take another step. He has encouraged me so much over these months with the truth in His word that says, "He will fulfill His purposes for me in my life!" That is a promise I can cling to. He will do it, I need but to wait! It is not easy. It is not a walk in the park. It is sometimes seemingly overwhelming! Nonetheless, I wait! A verse that has meant so much to me over the past few weeks, Isaiah 30:18 "Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore He exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him."
I'm praying that the Lord miraculously provides a job/ministry here in Hannibal.I'm also praying for the Lord to reveal just a portion of His power in my life over these next few weeks! If He doesn't move, I'm through, done, finito, gone, over, finished! I so desperately need Him to move powerfuly, divinely, distinctly! Would you pray that for me? That God would unleash His power in my life!
