I've seen posted all over facebook the countdown of thanks or something like that. I must say honestly I'm often annoyed at the bombarding of my news feed. People whom I rarely keep up with I'm now privey to knowing what they're thankful for on any given day in November, 2 matching socks, a dog that doesn't shed, whatever the blessing may be.
And yet for the annoyance that it is, I'm also moved by those posts that are genuine and truly grateful, to think about my own blessings. I'm not one to post it daily on facebook but I thought I would post some things I'm thankful for here.
Tonight especially, I am unbelievably thankful for a God who truly does do all things well. A God who knew it would break my heart to leave a place and people I loved dearly but had a new and different work for me to do so moved me to St. Louis. I'm thankful for a God who has lavished His love on me in many ways. One of those ways is in the dear friendships He has given me. I am constantly reminded of His satisfying love because of how well I am loved by my friends. Tonight I stood at my car just talking with a friend about the ins and outs of life and I was struck by not only how well she has cared for and encouraged me but how I genuinely love this sweet friend. I, sadly, often find that friendships can be lopsided. One friend pursues and loves well while the other just receives often not giving back or not reciprocating equally. I have played both roles in friendships. I feel however God has given me more of a desire to love well and allow others to love me well. It's a rare thing and I treasure it and the opportunities I've been given to practice.
I'm also thankful for a church that was wise enough in its mass to develop house churches so that deep relationships could be formed among members. I'm thankful to have been in a house church that has challenged me, encouraged me, supported me, loved me, cried with me, laughed with me, and taught me. Though bitter sweet, I'm thankful for this very house church that is dividing for the sake of the hostess' sanity, intimate sharing, and growth of the kingdom. Oh, I'm so very thankful for the stability they have provided when my world has been shaken.
I'm so very thankful for my dear family being near and being able to actually be an aunt to my nieces and nephews and a sister to my brother and sister in law. I'm thankful that those words are actually legit and not b.s.! What a transforming work God is able to do! And I'm thankful for it.
I'm thankful for the beautiful home I'm sheltered by this very moment. The car that sits in the driveway, the computer at my fingertips, the phone and ipod at my side, and the food that's in my tummy.
I'm thankful for my job that I adore and am challenged daily to be salt and light in. I'm thankful that God in His mercy has actually made me good at it and enjoy it. I'm thankful for the other believer He has placed to work with me and the laughter that runs throughout every day.
I'm thankful for creativity, words, hot glue, Pintrest, and inspiration. I'm thankful that He uses everything at our hands for His use and His glory.
Tonight, I am thankful.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Beautiful Things
There is an absurd amount of pain, suffering, and darkness in the world. Over the past few months my eyes and heart of have been awakened to it in the form of cancer. There are 3 women,my age,in my life,that are fighting cancer in its various forms and another older and dear aunt wrestling through leukemia. All of this has been very sobering for me and left me avoiding God for fear that He won't answer my questions and in anger at the compromised health of these young, vibrant lives. I came to despise all things beautiful, writing (hence the hiatus from blogging), crafting, singing, organizing (beauty is relative), and spending real time with my God. How I could I even think about much less look at beauty in the midst of so much darkness. My bedtime routine consisted of washing my face, brushing my teeth, and crying my self to sleep. I was broken. I am broken.
I'm confused with a myriad of questions followed by a myriad of biblical answers but forever finding the questioning spirit still there. I'm overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness and helplessness and yet feeling the comfort and confidence that only the Spirit brings. And then I'm reminded that I don't have cancer, that this wide pendulum of emotions I'm experiencing is also what my sweet sisters are experiencing while also fighting for their lives. And I'm brought to tears when I think my tear ducts have forever dried up.
I have had the completely divine opportunity though to see these woman in the face of death to become the women God has ordained them to be. One, who is filled with hope beyond measure, not in her circumstances but in her God and His ability to sustain her in life or in death. One whose encouraging spirit has only grown and has a joy about her that is tangible. And another, who once was far off, has drawn near to the Father and is a prayer warrior for others. He truly does turn our ashes into beauty.
I was listening to this song today that says, "You make beautiful things. You make beautiful things out of the dust." And it got me thinking about dust and ash. Those little particles that float around us were once apart of a greater whole. Whether it was once apart of volcanic rock that was spewed, or a plant that shed, or human skin that has flaked, or pollutants in the air all of it was once apart of something larger. That thing had to be broken, crushed, or even die to become dust. The Lord takes our dust, those broken, crushed, dead places in us and makes beautiful things.
In hearing that song, and thinking about the beauty that has come from the crushing blow of cancer from these women, I am encouraged and inspired and hopeful again. He makes beautiful things. And I want to too. I want to write to lead others to see the beauty that is in Living. I want to make beautiful accessories and crafts to adorn sick bodies and bald heads. I want to laugh at the days to come for I know that in each one, life or death, He will make things beautiful, of this I am sure.
I'm confused with a myriad of questions followed by a myriad of biblical answers but forever finding the questioning spirit still there. I'm overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness and helplessness and yet feeling the comfort and confidence that only the Spirit brings. And then I'm reminded that I don't have cancer, that this wide pendulum of emotions I'm experiencing is also what my sweet sisters are experiencing while also fighting for their lives. And I'm brought to tears when I think my tear ducts have forever dried up.
I have had the completely divine opportunity though to see these woman in the face of death to become the women God has ordained them to be. One, who is filled with hope beyond measure, not in her circumstances but in her God and His ability to sustain her in life or in death. One whose encouraging spirit has only grown and has a joy about her that is tangible. And another, who once was far off, has drawn near to the Father and is a prayer warrior for others. He truly does turn our ashes into beauty.
I was listening to this song today that says, "You make beautiful things. You make beautiful things out of the dust." And it got me thinking about dust and ash. Those little particles that float around us were once apart of a greater whole. Whether it was once apart of volcanic rock that was spewed, or a plant that shed, or human skin that has flaked, or pollutants in the air all of it was once apart of something larger. That thing had to be broken, crushed, or even die to become dust. The Lord takes our dust, those broken, crushed, dead places in us and makes beautiful things.
In hearing that song, and thinking about the beauty that has come from the crushing blow of cancer from these women, I am encouraged and inspired and hopeful again. He makes beautiful things. And I want to too. I want to write to lead others to see the beauty that is in Living. I want to make beautiful accessories and crafts to adorn sick bodies and bald heads. I want to laugh at the days to come for I know that in each one, life or death, He will make things beautiful, of this I am sure.
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