Repost: Revered

Today I repost this blog in loving memory of Charmayne Singer, the first woman listed in the revered women of my life section from a piece I wrote in 2010. I leave in just a moment to attend her memorial service which I'm sure will be a time of deep mourning but not without a confident hope that she now stands beside her Savior. What a blessing she was to me. I pray that my life would leave as beautiful a fragrance as hers has.
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I checked out an Oprah book. It now sits in my home by the orange chair delighting my evenings and leading me to pontificate. Tonight I read about self-esteem and all that other mambo-jumbo (you know Oprah and her "spirituality"). One thing that did make me reflect and feel the flicker of joy was thinking about influential people in my life.

I want all the women who have inspired, encouraged, embraced, and invested in me to be together in one room. Oh what joy would fill my heart and laughter fill the room. There would be beautiful women in every corner sharing stories of what the Lord has done in their lives and the journey He has led them on. We would sip our preferred beverage and eat lovely things, because Lord knows a party ain't a party till someone brings the food. We would laugh, cry, hug, think, and pray. We would sing sweet melodies, read beautiful writings, and tell adventurous stories. I know they would all get along so well. Just thinking of it brings a smile to my face.

This, I imagine, will only have the likelihood of happening when, Lord willing, I get married. And if that should never happen, as it very well may not, would it be weird of me to throw myself a Single party? ...I'm afraid it would. So, to save myself the embarrassment I will send out a thank you and list some names of beautiful women who have forever changed my life. I cannot wait to spend eternity with you my lovely family, worshipping our Abba Father.

So, to some of the revered women of my life: Charmayne, Rachel, Becky, Judy, Katherine, Betty, Cindy, Stephanie, Jessica, Ashlie, Mandy, Nicole, Lisa, Laurie

Thank you so much for all you did, are doing, and will continue to do in the years to come in shaping me to become the woman I am today and will be tomorrow. I thank my God EVERY time I think of you.

The Now and The Not Yet

Y'all! Can I just tell you how crazy I think it is that every month I am baffled by the fact that I've been here another month. Rereading some entries I find it hilarious that every month I inevitably repeat something dealing with time going so quickly and my being here yet another month. Too funny! So I will spare you the time going quickly point and simply say that I've been here 9 months. Much like a pregnant woman longs to see her child and in all honesty is most likely sick of being pregnant and ready to birth out a kid. I too have found myself ready to birth.

I have been in this process of remembering passions I once had and dreams I let fall to the side as I've trudged on through life. I've picked up other interests along the way and intentionally packed up other hopes for safe keeping, knowing that to daydream of those things would not be beneficial to my psyche or to anyone around me or just wasn't right timing. So, in unloading some of those mental boxes as I settle into St. Louis I've come across one that seems ready to open as it is bursting at the seams.

I have dreamed since I was 16 or so of going to Africa. I had opportunities to go but my parents didn't find that to be in my best interest. Then in college, there were many missions organizations that visited, again leaving doors open to go to this place I've dreamed of. Yet, I didn't commit myself to these opportunities because at the time I was committing to spending my life with someone else and that was my priority. Those first years after college I was again presented with the chance to go and I had grown comfortable with my average, single, American life. I enjoyed my money, my freedom, and my luxuries. And then....

As I think back on it, I'm surprised that it has taken me this long to see but I guess that God unveils our eyes when it's time to see and dear friends it's time.

...then I grew in a quick friendship with a family that were themselves packing and moving to AL to prepare to move to Zambia, Africa. Intertwining my life with theirs and the families already in relationship with them my heart began beating wildly for Africa again. Seeing pictures of the people, of the children, of the land, of the plans that my friends were making made me long to be in this place I've never known.

At the time situations had risen at my job and I felt like I was being led to another place. When these things fell through and I was forced to move to St. Louis, Africa was no where near my mind. I was in survival mode. But now that things have calmed down and I have a chance to really process all that has been taking place in my heart and physically around me, I'm noticing that 9 months have passed and I am obviously "pregnant" with restored hopes and dreams spilling out of my box.

I have remained, these 9 months in a very transitional place, which has led me to question why I am allowed to be so nomadic at this point in my life. It is for a purpose, of this I am sure. So, I'm using this transitional time to seek opportunities to go and to minister while I can. And I have found an opportunity to teach overseas in nowhere other than North Africa. I am applying for this opportunity and am confident that God will continue to lead. If I am accepted I will leave in a year to live a year at a time in North Africa (the country is not yet specified).

So... as my community I am asking that you pray for His direction, my obedience, and their ( www.teachOverseas.org )acceptance. I realize this is just in the very infant stages but just like time and aging, it all goes too fast and I want for you to have a part in it.

So, I'm hoping that you will gather with me to pray me through from now to the not yet.

Lovely Moments

So... inspired by my last post 5 minutes ago. I wanted to make a list of lovely moments I've had the chance to embrace.

watching the sunset in VA
first kiss
watching planes land at dusk
a walk in the park
hand in hand
a kiss on the head
a walk in the rain
a song made for me
piano melody in a coffee shop
laughing till tears
birth of first niece
4 course meal in Italy
looking out at the vineyards
knees to the earth looking up at the mountains
drives to nowhere
princess palaces
snow angels
washing feet
kisses covered floor
prayer
comforted by dearest friends
realizing love
dozing with sleeping baby
standing at Niagara
reconnecting with friends
realizing home
real worship