{The Great Divide} talking about what we don't talk about

I'm presuming there are not a lot of men who visit this little world of mine. In fact I only know of one who has me in his Google Reader (or maybe HAD me there :) Thanks Jay!)
So what better platform to have a bit of a gripe about what awesome single ladies gripe about occasionally to close friends or acquaintances or in my case total strangers... our singleness and the lack of control we have over it.

So, recently I've had the privilege to speak with several a single lady who are baffled like me by the state of too many lovely christian women. I read a while ago there are people who are single for a reason and people who are single for a season. Despite either of these two logic's the alarming truth is that there are an astounding number of women who desire to be married, to raise children, are of a reasonable age and are AMAZING. I'm not just talking like hey I'm cool "amazing" but like hey I'm COOL, I LOVE Jesus, I'm about the work of HIS Kingdom, and I'm gonna do this thing with our without a husband kind of AMAZING.

But what IS lacking is AMAZING men to come along side these women. Don't get me wrong, there are guys out there. That's not the problem. The problem is these AMAY-ZA-ZING  women don't just want some guy. They want a man. Can I just include myself in there? I mean I like to think of myself as pretty amay-za-zing as well. WE want a man. Stop me if I'm wrong.

I'm not expecting this man to be the best at everything or at anything. I'm expecting, and I assume I'm not alone in this, a man to love Jesus, to be committed to His Kingdom, and his purpose within the Kingdom. I'm expecting that he be apart of the Church and his church. These are foundational things. Anything outside of this is preference and is debatable.

So... what's up? For realsies? Cause I'm not seeing that this list is something insurmountable. But what I do see are churches or organizations filled with women, sprinkled with men, and many a man not willing, interested, or motivated to ask a lady out. I understand there is fear of rejection. Risk. Whatever else may be a hindrance. But men this is your biblical role, to initiate, to pursue, to risk the rejection, or maybe just maybe hear a resounding YES.

I know once there used to be a stigma maybe with dorkier, shyer, socially awkward men versus the smooth, popular guy. But men, can I just give you some encouragement if you're still reading this, nearly ALL of my friends, who are AMAZING, have said they prefer the shyer, dorkier, socially awkward men! No joke. You are not the underdog anymore, so stop behaving like it. Put on the pants that are rightfully yours, pray, and pursue. Yes, you may get rejected. Yes, it may hurt a bit. But you also might find an AMAY-ZA-ZING jewel.

And to my dear ladies, myself included, I think Oswald Chambers said it best " If I put my trust in human beings first, I will end in despairing of everyone; I will become bitter, because I have insisted on man being what no man can ever be- absolutely right. Never trust anything but the grace of God in yourself or in anyone else." Our trust, hope, and desires cannot be wrapped up in man, for they will always disappoint and we will always disappoint them. But who we continue to trust in, look towards, and lean on is Christ. The One who never disappoints and indeed is shaping you into the amazing women you are.

I pray for our hope and strength to be found in Him. And I pray that our focus would be on the grand purposes He has set aside for you to do in the area He has placed you even now.

Get a Clue

Dear Summer,

I don't know when it happened. I don't even now how it happened but I am completely in love with Fall. I wish this wasn't so awkward, but you have got to go! I thought maybe you would get the clue when I pulled out all Fall's stuff. When you saw porches decorated with leaves, pumpkins, and hay. For Pete's sake when you noticed Halloween candy and costumes being sold. I mean maybe it wasn't completely obvious to you as I always rock a pretty sweet cardigan but I've been trying to give you the clue by adding a scarf and even searching through catalogs for flannel shirts and cowboy boots! Come now, cowboy boots?! If these things don't have Fall written all over them, I don't know what does. So, though I know I will regret this come mid winter I want to let you know I'm not interested in you anymore. Not your heat, not your mosquitoes, and not your swimsuits. But as for your friend Fall, tell him I'm in the market for a new season. hmmmm, yeah a new season, some cooking, snuggling, pumpkin muffins, and apple picking.

I like you, but I'm just not that into you anymore.

Boundless Relationship Week Day 1

Task 3 How did meditating on this passage further shape your view on relationship?

Romans 12:9-13
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another is showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

It's funny that this would be the first task and "Let love be genuine" would be the first words. Over the past few weeks I have felt a real absence of intimate community in my life. I was telling a friend that in this move, I have done a good job at getting a good quantity of friends but now I want some of those friendships to be better quality. And it really is all about being real, or genuine, with each other. Having this community and accountability will encourage and challenge me to hate what is evil and cling to what is good, while being able to truly come to a point of loving with sisterly affections these women in my life.

In thinking about the list of 7 things to be doing given in this passage, it's really easy for me to separate this from the context of relationships and simply apply it to my life. Though that's good and well, these 3 verses are within the context of relationships and cannot just be removed from that. So keeping that in mind, I'm challenged by these things. Outdo one another in showing honor, don't be lazy in your excitement, be active listening and obeying the spirit, serve God, be happy in hope, be long suffering in trials, and always be in prayer! Imagine what friendships or relationships of all facets would look like if this was how we truly lived. If this was how I truly lived.

Comparing myself to these 7 standards brings conviction to my selfish heart, but also empowers me by clearly laying out the picture of true Christianity, knowing that it is not I who has a good work to finish in me but Christ alone! I can boast in my weakness because where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more.

Boundless Dating

Task 2

So for those of you who don't know I'm taking a challenge. My first public task was to read a series of articles on Biblical dating and then to comment on them.

Biblical dating is slightly phantomish to me. I honestly love the concept and the challenge of it but have never seen it done. It is so much easier to give into self, pressure, and societal norms. Christ however was not called to the easy route, nor are we in being transformed into His likeness.

There were some points that I could debate, some others I could whine about, yet still others that I stood resolutely behind. In the end though my heart was continually led back to the truth that "ALL of life comes down to just these things, that's to know Jesus and make Him known." This does not exclude my dating life but rather fully includes it. If a relationship or the actions taken within the context of that relationship don't allow me to know Jesus better or make Him (His purposes, His character, His law) made known what is the point? It would be some self gratifying purpose, which is not the intent for a Godly marriage.

So, there are things I don't want to hear and don't want to live by, but I know that His nearness is my good. Be near Oh God and plant these dating boundaries deep within my heart so that I might not sin against a brother or against you.

That AhHaHa

I'm really loving this blogging thing. It's helping me to document the ridiculous things that happen in my life, bringing much joy and laughter as I reread or remember to write. Such as right now, my sweet Valentine's Day consisted of a children's card reading "You're as cute as a kitten!" and a non-insured immigrant hitting my parked car. Sad right? But hilarious when you look at in the context of the rest of my life story.

You see I have had a time with cars. Let's reminisce shall we?

Car 1: Gold Beast- speedometer rarely worked and decided to stop working without warning.
Car 2: Saggy Ceiling- window would slip into the door (awful for rainy days) and caught on fire on 70.
Car 3: Blue Tempo- old school but good, traded in for...
Car 4: Maroon Malibu- week 3 of owning I tapped a brick wall, that same week I flipped it completely totalling it.
Car 5: White Cobalt- hit by a drunk driver within months of owning
Car 6: Jeep- I only had for a month or so waiting for the cobalt to get fixed.
Repeat Car 5: White Cobalt- glowing clutch in year 4 of owning, days after fixing glowing clutch I ran into a 2 foot puddle flooding out my engine $1000 and 2 months later on a snowy day the afore mentioned non-insured driver hit my parked car.

I go through cars like I go through apartments! Hahaha

So, I'm here with my bruised up car just choosing to laugh, otherwise I would be forced to cry. It's that AH! Haha

Lovely Moments

So... inspired by my last post 5 minutes ago. I wanted to make a list of lovely moments I've had the chance to embrace.

watching the sunset in VA
first kiss
watching planes land at dusk
a walk in the park
hand in hand
a kiss on the head
a walk in the rain
a song made for me
piano melody in a coffee shop
laughing till tears
birth of first niece
4 course meal in Italy
looking out at the vineyards
knees to the earth looking up at the mountains
drives to nowhere
princess palaces
snow angels
washing feet
kisses covered floor
prayer
comforted by dearest friends
realizing love
dozing with sleeping baby
standing at Niagara
reconnecting with friends
realizing home
real worship

The Best and Worse

In honor of Valentine's Day I thought a bit about the few dates I've been on in my few years. There really aren't many OK dates for me. If they were good, they were really good. If they were bad, they were really bad. Here are a few that made the lists.

Best:
A day doing things I wanted to do. From early in the morning until late at night. Which included him taking me shopping for him. I got to dress him up in whatever I wanted. Great fun!

Worst:
After spending about an hour shoveling my car out of the snow I met a guy at a nasty Chinese buffet (should have known then), to find him already eating. When I sat down they brought a plate of frog legs(!) for him. Then conversation was completely lacking. But worse when we got to the counter he made no reach for his wallet. I paid! DEAL BREAKER!

Best:
A dinner with friends, one being an extraordinary chef. Good conversation. Watching a little t.v., then a nice drive checking out houses, and more good conversation.

Worst:
A l-o-n-g time ago. A movie I never saw the title of. A guy I never talked to again. And a "punch" in the neck . Enough said.

Best:
A funeral. Coffee. A walk. A talk.

What I've come to realize is none of these dates are extraordinarily great. It's just the people I was with that made the difference.

Both In One

One is there.
Another here.
Will there ever be
both here and there?

A bridge to span
the space between,
where I am found,
not confused, rather
convinced that I am
indeed fully there and
fully here.

With no morphing or swaying,
I cannot change you.
Since you are there
be fully there.
And you are here
so be all here.

But I stand confidently
where I am,
where the here and there
will never meet.
I wait for you to find me.
-AngieLee

My attempt at poetry. I really love this piece because it is exactly what I wanted to say and exactly how I felt.