Y'all! Can I just tell you how crazy I think it is that every month I am baffled by the fact that I've been here another month. Rereading some entries I find it hilarious that every month I inevitably repeat something dealing with time going so quickly and my being here yet another month. Too funny! So I will spare you the time going quickly point and simply say that I've been here 9 months. Much like a pregnant woman longs to see her child and in all honesty is most likely sick of being pregnant and ready to birth out a kid. I too have found myself ready to birth.
I have been in this process of remembering passions I once had and dreams I let fall to the side as I've trudged on through life. I've picked up other interests along the way and intentionally packed up other hopes for safe keeping, knowing that to daydream of those things would not be beneficial to my psyche or to anyone around me or just wasn't right timing. So, in unloading some of those mental boxes as I settle into St. Louis I've come across one that seems ready to open as it is bursting at the seams.
I have dreamed since I was 16 or so of going to Africa. I had opportunities to go but my parents didn't find that to be in my best interest. Then in college, there were many missions organizations that visited, again leaving doors open to go to this place I've dreamed of. Yet, I didn't commit myself to these opportunities because at the time I was committing to spending my life with someone else and that was my priority. Those first years after college I was again presented with the chance to go and I had grown comfortable with my average, single, American life. I enjoyed my money, my freedom, and my luxuries. And then....
As I think back on it, I'm surprised that it has taken me this long to see but I guess that God unveils our eyes when it's time to see and dear friends it's time.
...then I grew in a quick friendship with a family that were themselves packing and moving to AL to prepare to move to Zambia, Africa. Intertwining my life with theirs and the families already in relationship with them my heart began beating wildly for Africa again. Seeing pictures of the people, of the children, of the land, of the plans that my friends were making made me long to be in this place I've never known.
At the time situations had risen at my job and I felt like I was being led to another place. When these things fell through and I was forced to move to St. Louis, Africa was no where near my mind. I was in survival mode. But now that things have calmed down and I have a chance to really process all that has been taking place in my heart and physically around me, I'm noticing that 9 months have passed and I am obviously "pregnant" with restored hopes and dreams spilling out of my box.
I have remained, these 9 months in a very transitional place, which has led me to question why I am allowed to be so nomadic at this point in my life. It is for a purpose, of this I am sure. So, I'm using this transitional time to seek opportunities to go and to minister while I can. And I have found an opportunity to teach overseas in nowhere other than North Africa. I am applying for this opportunity and am confident that God will continue to lead. If I am accepted I will leave in a year to live a year at a time in North Africa (the country is not yet specified).
So... as my community I am asking that you pray for His direction, my obedience, and their ( www.teachOverseas.org )acceptance. I realize this is just in the very infant stages but just like time and aging, it all goes too fast and I want for you to have a part in it.
So, I'm hoping that you will gather with me to pray me through from now to the not yet.
