I'm trying to take a minute to gather my thoughts, to make some sense of my world right now. I found out today a brother in my house church was found dead days after his death. He died alone. Alone. A news report that caught my ear and grasped my heart a few nights ago was about a body found on a corner a few streets down from me. Allegedly murdered and dropped on the side of the road.Just casually dropped. A commercial I heard Sunday on my way to church advertising abortions for up to 22 weeks along. At what point does that life growing in you become... living?
My heart is heavy for these deaths. None of whom I knew too well, but all cut from my same human fabric. And I ache tonight for the murder victim that has no face, the countless babies who have no voice, and for a fellow believer who had no warning.
Ya..., my heart is burdened with our fallen nature and I'm desperately longing for a day when everything is set right again. Yet I know I should cling to the hope, the knowledge that "mambo sawa sawa" (things are already better). The Lord is on His throne, He is the God who sees, He is the God who knows. He sees the injustices of the world and He is not waiting until the end of time to make it better. He is working on their behalf right now. His righteousness is being brought into the lives of the broken and the weary right now. This is the hope I must cling to. That the very power that rose Christ from the grave is at work even now.
And for those who believe in Him, who have placed their trust in Him, DEATH NO LONGER HAS THE VICTORY! God is in the process of redeeming a people for Himself and my sweet brother now gets to worship at the feet of the humble King. Though his family rejected him and even I thought him quirky at times, he is now worshipping in the presence of Our Abba Father.
Ya, tears stain my face tonight, but joy will come in the morning.
"I believe in God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth. I believe in Jesus Christ His only son, who was conceived of the Holy Spirit, born of the virgin Mary and suffered under Pontious Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended into Hell. On the third day He rose again from the dead, He ascended into Heaven and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty. From there He will come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, and the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting." Amen, Amen.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Freedom in Commitment
Maybe it's just me, but I'm stunned at how quickly time is flying by. Jen, thanks for pointing out that February is shorter which justifies it seeming to be over so quickly, but what is the excuse for March? Seriously! I kept telling myself I need to post an update for March. And low and behold, hello April!
So here we are in April, celebrating Easter this very weekend and the Lord is revealing in my life His commitment to His people.
First, let me start by saying I have been living here for 7 months now and God has not stopped showing His faithfulness to me within that time (and when I look before my 7 months here I have to say in hindsight I am beginning to see His faithfulness there.) In these 7 months I have gone through some emotional hardships, heartbreaks, car issues, and financial issues. It has been a 7 months that I know someday I'll be able to look back on fondly and today is one of those days.
So, let me just update you quickly with what has most recently been in the forefront of my mind and prayers. My own financial situation coupled with Freedom School's. Many of you, I'm sure, have no idea what I'm talking about seeing as though we rarely e-talk, much less face to face. But we'll catch up, all in due time. :)
My own issues: Y'all, I did not know where the money was going to come from this month and was already stressed for paying bills coming next month. As I had figured I would be hundreds of dollars short. Don't you know that some how money stretched from last month over to this month to cover the gap and now money (that wasn't even there to start with) has stretched from this month to cover next month? And I got a pay check that was hundreds of dollars more than what I normally get paid. I told the Lord, you are going to have to miraculously provide this money because if you don't I'm done for. He has provided! Thank God that He doesn't work within the confines of my faith!
Freedom School: Ministry with the church I'm attending, New City Fellowship, that I'll soon be subbing at, hoping to get on full time. Freedom School deficit $90,000. That seemed like an insurmountable amount of money to me of little faith. We were told of this deficit just weeks before I am to start subbing there and my natural inclination is to RUN! Run to a place I "know" is financially stable and will be able to pay me on time because I'm dealing with my own financial stuff, right. Just last night we were told that God's people had gathered $195,000 for Freedom School! What?!?!?! He has provided!
My friends, those of you who really know me, know that I came to STL kicking and screaming and faith is not a spiritual gift of mine. Let me just tell you that God is beginning a visible work in me in this area. He has led me to every situation, where in my own strength there was NO way of anything good coming from the mess, but when I recognized that and called on Him , He has been faithful to meet the need. Not only monetarily but I've seen in it in my own emotions, my spiritual life, my mental life, His work around the world, His work in a lost person's life.
I have seen, the commitment God has made with His people. In this season of Easter isn't that what we are celebrating? God's commitment, even to sacrifice His own Son, so that we might be reconciled to Him, through Jesus' death and resurrection. Isn't that our hope? That God has so bound Himself to us that through these trials that we go through, He is working out goodness and righteousness in and through us. And that because of His power that is now at work in me through the Holy Spirit, I have freedom to love the "unlovable", to freely give to the orphan and the widow, to come alongside the prostitute, and to live among the poor and oppressed. He is committed to do good, even when my faith is the weakest of weak, when my joy is depleted, and I want to go Home. Thank God for His commitment!
So here we are in April, celebrating Easter this very weekend and the Lord is revealing in my life His commitment to His people.
First, let me start by saying I have been living here for 7 months now and God has not stopped showing His faithfulness to me within that time (and when I look before my 7 months here I have to say in hindsight I am beginning to see His faithfulness there.) In these 7 months I have gone through some emotional hardships, heartbreaks, car issues, and financial issues. It has been a 7 months that I know someday I'll be able to look back on fondly and today is one of those days.
So, let me just update you quickly with what has most recently been in the forefront of my mind and prayers. My own financial situation coupled with Freedom School's. Many of you, I'm sure, have no idea what I'm talking about seeing as though we rarely e-talk, much less face to face. But we'll catch up, all in due time. :)
My own issues: Y'all, I did not know where the money was going to come from this month and was already stressed for paying bills coming next month. As I had figured I would be hundreds of dollars short. Don't you know that some how money stretched from last month over to this month to cover the gap and now money (that wasn't even there to start with) has stretched from this month to cover next month? And I got a pay check that was hundreds of dollars more than what I normally get paid. I told the Lord, you are going to have to miraculously provide this money because if you don't I'm done for. He has provided! Thank God that He doesn't work within the confines of my faith!
Freedom School: Ministry with the church I'm attending, New City Fellowship, that I'll soon be subbing at, hoping to get on full time. Freedom School deficit $90,000. That seemed like an insurmountable amount of money to me of little faith. We were told of this deficit just weeks before I am to start subbing there and my natural inclination is to RUN! Run to a place I "know" is financially stable and will be able to pay me on time because I'm dealing with my own financial stuff, right. Just last night we were told that God's people had gathered $195,000 for Freedom School! What?!?!?! He has provided!
My friends, those of you who really know me, know that I came to STL kicking and screaming and faith is not a spiritual gift of mine. Let me just tell you that God is beginning a visible work in me in this area. He has led me to every situation, where in my own strength there was NO way of anything good coming from the mess, but when I recognized that and called on Him , He has been faithful to meet the need. Not only monetarily but I've seen in it in my own emotions, my spiritual life, my mental life, His work around the world, His work in a lost person's life.
I have seen, the commitment God has made with His people. In this season of Easter isn't that what we are celebrating? God's commitment, even to sacrifice His own Son, so that we might be reconciled to Him, through Jesus' death and resurrection. Isn't that our hope? That God has so bound Himself to us that through these trials that we go through, He is working out goodness and righteousness in and through us. And that because of His power that is now at work in me through the Holy Spirit, I have freedom to love the "unlovable", to freely give to the orphan and the widow, to come alongside the prostitute, and to live among the poor and oppressed. He is committed to do good, even when my faith is the weakest of weak, when my joy is depleted, and I want to go Home. Thank God for His commitment!
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