buses and men {it's hard waiting for either}

Bus! She sees them lined up outside waiting for her. It's been a long day, a long wait for the bus. She hits and claws as she is escorted to her next activity only wanting to be going to the bus. Bus! she yells dropping to the floor, crying. All she wants is the bus that will carry her away from this place to where she longs to be. She doesn't know that I want the bus for her too, that I'm not withholding the bus from her. She doesn't understand that it's just not time yet. Bus time is near but not quite yet.

Even as I write this I cry just as I did that exhausting day. I cried because it was a little message to me. Let's make me "She", "Bus" husband, and "I" God.

Husband! I see them lined up outside waiting for me. It's been a long wait for a husband. I hit and claw or yell and cry as I'm led to my next phase in life, only wanting a husband. Husband! I yell, dropping to the floor, crying. All I want is a husband that will carry me away from this place of loneliness to where I long to be. I don't know that God wants a husband for me too, that He's not withholding a husband from me. I don't understand that it's just not time yet. Marriage is near but not quite yet.

Watching her throw a fit, knowing that the clock was ticking and soon enough our day would be over and she would have bus, gave me so much more patience and compassion for her as I saw myself.

I don't want to waste anymore of my life weeping and whaling over buses. God has told me, no good thing will He withhold from me. If I don't have it right now, I don't need it right now.

Here's what my sweet friend Ashlie from Ashlie Writes said that I desperately needed to hear:

This morning I'm thinking of the sweet soul who is dried up and discouraged in a situation or season that has been dragging on for what seems like forever...God hears you. You're not alone. Keep trusting, even if you don't "see" any progress. God has a way of working in ways that we don't see...and that's where faith comes in. If your faith is weak today, know that you are being held up in prayer :) God is into bringing life into what seems dead, rebuilding the broken, restoring what seems lost, and bringing the surviving to a place of thriving. It doesn't always look the way we think it should...but remember He is always GOOD. Hang in there!! Rain IS coming to your wilderness :)

"For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland." - Isaiah 43:19