Reflections of a 28 year old

December 19th was my 28th birthday. I don't remember as a teenager ever thinking about what 28 would look like for me. 25?yes. 30? yes But never 28. I'm sure at some point when I was 18 I thought in 10 years I would be 28 and shrinked at the thought. But here we are, 10 years later.

I had never had a birthday party. With it being so close to Christmas there just wasn't ever a good time for a party. I had dinners. I had presents. I had songs. But never a party, for me, with all my friends. (If you remember me having a party please let me know. I even asked my mom, who also didn't recall me ever having a party.) But this year, this completion of the 28th year of my life, some dear friends decided to throw me a party!

I loved every bit of it. From the decor, to the food, to the gifts, to the worlds colliding, to the laughter and singing! Perfect! I could not have asked for a better introduction into my 29th year of life. To make up for the birthday parties that I lacked my dear friends sang to me 28 times, each time just a little different. I felt completely and totally loved.



(Kate on the air mandolin)



(Emily on the air guitar)

Considering that 25 was not what I thought it would be like. 28 surely is nothing I expected either. According to the plan I made in high school, for some future planning class, by 28 I would have been married for 3 or 4 years working on baby 2, being a stay at home mom in my sweet little subdivision. Oh how reality hits when I think about that plan. Because the reality is, I'm 28, with a short string of failed relationships, living with my parents, and entering a job that holds inevitable chaos.

And when looked at through that lens alone, it could seem pretty bleak. It could seem really disappointing. It could seem like failure. But here's what I also didn't plan. I didn't plan on finding such amazing friendships that feel more like family. I didn't plan on going to the deepest pit of despair only to be met by My Savior holding me up so that I would not fall. I didn't plan on loving HIM more than anything else in life. I didn't plan on being apart of such an astounding community of believers that challenge me along the journey. I also didn't plan on learning from each heartbreak, healing from each wound, growing from each set back. And I surely didn't plan on teaching a classroom of 27 kiddos that aren't my own.

But this, this is the adventure! This is the discovering who I am, who He is making me to be! This waiting (today :) ) is the fun part. When those things that I planned so meticulously for eventually come about, Lord willing, I will, in some respect know what's next. Marriage, a home, kids, missions, grandkids,.... there's a pattern. But this, this not knowing, this unplanned time; as heart wrenching as it is when another friend gets married or has a child or any other barrage of things I desire, it's also exciting because who knows what's next. It could literally be anything!

Tonight at a sisters reunion a friend told the story of an elderly woman who had recently become a widow. She said that this woman no longer knew who she was if she wasn't this man's wife. I couldn't help but find a small sense of hope in that. That by being single these 28 years, I am discovering who I am apart from someone else.

So, at 28, I'm choosing not to look at all I don't have. I'm instead looking at all the Lord has blessed me with and anticipating the excitement that is yet to come!