"Can I just tell you..."

This is how I've been starting most of my stories lately. I go through trends like this in my writing and speaking where I will just latch onto a phrase and wear it out until I get sick of it. I was VERY tempted to begin this blog this way and decided the title might very well be the better option for that!

SO here we are, me with a story to tell and without some intro line I'm just going to jump right in.

I've cried over every donation that has come through my hands. This is not an exaggeration. Every one of these envelopes, checks, or dollars has a story behind it of a person who has been moved by the Lord enough to reach into an often closed place and give freely to me. To send lil ole me to London.

I can't articulate well enough what this does to my heart every time. Every time I look into the eyes of the supporter or listen to their kind words of encouragement and support. I think that's the very reason I'm crying. Because I just can't articulate the the gratefulness that wells up in me. The awe of obedience in peoples lives. The reality of the Spirit being alive and well and in fact impressing upon people's hearts and minds to support me.

Then there is another part of the tears that is just a humbled reverence for what the Lord is doing and that He's called me to be apart of it. I don't know if y'all know this but I'm not a Paul, or a Peter, or a James. I'm not something to be made much of but here I am feeling this urgency matched with desire to model my life after them modeling their lives after Jesus.

I am IMPERFECT and flawed with bruises and bumps and ugly wounds that are en route to healing but I'm kind of a mess. And I know head knowledge wise that these were mere men as well with their own ugly places but Christ has been made much of because of their commitment to Him.

I want Christ to be made much of in my life. And I feel as though Christ echos those words back to me, "I delight in you! I want to be made much of in your life." I have to be honest and say there is fear when I hear these words. Paul, Peter, and James may have had moments of stupidity but I often feel like I'm in that state constantly. God used them to write beautiful and profound things, to speak clearly and articulate the gospel in a way that made sense to others. Me? Really?

Hephzibah- which means My Delight is in You
(Isaiah 62:4)

Could it be? Could it be that God could use me? Of course it won't be in the same way that He used these men or any one else on earth. It would be a new and different thing He would do with my life. But could He use me?

This is what I'm asking as I go to London this summer. Lord, could you use me? Can it be that you've actually met me in my desires and called me out to be your servant abroad? Can it be?

Would you prayerfully consider supporting me in this?

I cried earlier because I'm nearly 50% of the way to having complete funding. Amen! I cried also because I'm only nearly 50% of the way to having complete funding. Oh man!

I will close collections on May 31st. If you desire to support me in any way, can you please do so before this time.

To God be the Glory!

Angie