I'm Happy.
It's the most amazing thing. I have a job that I love, hobbies I'm growing into, all of my family is near enough that I can hug and kiss them as much as I want. I have an amazing church that continues to reshape my skewed image of God. I'm apart of a bible study that holds me accountable to my own individual growth in the Lord while also challenging me in the leadership role He has placed me in. I have been blessed to have friends that I still keep up with from high school and from college. I have the privilege to make new friends in adulthood that I love and cherish deeply. I feel needed and valued.
It's no surprise to you, I'm sure, that the tears are streaming down my face as I write this. But I just think of the deep valleys My God has brought me through. The uncertainties, the loss of hope, and for moments the loss of a will to live. Y'all it got bad. But I just have to tell you how in awe I am right now that this overflowing spring in me is happiness, is freedom, is restoration.
I was asked Sunday by a person who I'm confident meant well, how things were going immediately followed by "any man?". I was a little shocked at how little I had to say about the matter, nope. There is so much other amazing stuff going on in my life that I didn't even feel the need to qualify my "nope". I allowed it to stand out there on its own. Nope.
I'm single (not that I would mind being in a relationship if the right guy asked). I have no children though my womb and heart ache to love on my own little one. I live in someone else's house. I'm a teacher who has taken the position of a T.A. and I am happy. The happiest I've been in a long time.
I know that His goal is not my happiness but my holiness so what a sweet bonus that He has taken into consideration my happiness and given me these moments. He is true to His promise to me through His word that He will restore the years the locust have eaten. (Joel 2:25)
This song, though meant for the luvas,
kind of is exactly how I feel.
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