So it's Father's day and I've just returned home from a day of hanging with my family. BBQ. Music. Reminiscing. And laughter.
Today's sermon at church was about marriage. This is kind of unheard of at New City. An entire sermon devoted to the topic of marriage. In college it seemed as though every service I went to was on marriage or singleness. Its been nice being at New City and enjoying the predictability of a sermon. I know it will be the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know it will be Kingdom focused. It will be a call for God's people to be a blessing to the nations. It will not be fluffy. It will not be specifically catered to seasons of our lives.
I will say that today though it was refreshing to hear someone speak so highly of marriage. Sometimes in my singleness I can forget. I can forget to hold marriage in high regard and respect the hard work and effort that goes into successful marriages. Sometimes, brutally honest moment here, I can want "marriage" so badly I forget what I'm actually wanting or I can disdain marriage, forgetting that it's actually something I want to be apart of someday. It's easy to look at marriages of friends and want what they have without knowing the work it takes to get them there.Then there are other times that I look at friends marriages and pity them because they're not single. It was good to be reminded that marriage is big. It's hard. It's good. It's life changing and changes lives.
Today talking with and observing my dad and family I was convinced that Tony was right in speaking of marriage today and not giving a Father's day speech of some sort.
I don't know that anyone can say they've had an easy marriage. (If they say it they might be lying or their marriage might be terribly unhealthy.) But my parents can attest to the truth that they have not had an easy marriage. There were many things going against them at a time and in a society when interracial relationships where taboo. There have been several other missteps and setbacks in their 30 years of marriage and yet here they are this year celebrating 31 years of marriage.
Many families in today's society are broken because of divorce, abuse, abandonment, affairs, sin. I see much of this in the city among black families in the community. Single mothers raising children without the help of a man for one reason or another.
My dad is a black man, my mother a white woman. A fear her family had was that he would abandon her, which societal trends pointed to. At several points in their marriage either could have thrown in the towel and no one would have blamed them for it. Marriage is hard. Who WANTS to do the hard task of working through it? I know I'd much rather take the easy way through things.
I say all this to say, my dad stayed. He stayed at a time when divorce rates rocketed. And when "happy" may not have been on the list of words he'd use to describe his marriage. But there is fruit from that decision that I can see very clearly now. He has a son, my dear brother, who also would not describe his marriage as easy and yet he also has chosen time and time again to stay committed to the vows he made to my sister in law. He has a daughter, me, that values marriage and desires to one day marry to be an expression of God's loving kindness to the world with her husband. He has grandchildren that he and his son are teaching by example what it means to be promise keeping men and the sacrifice it takes to make marriage work.
His life was radically changed in marrying my mother. But my life, my brother and his family's life have all been radically enriched by his choosing to stay married to her. What a blessing he has given us.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY
