lazy days

I'm finding that the more I try to be technologically savvy, the more technologically retarded I find myself! In trying to change my blogger template it took me literally about 5 hours to figure it out. How frustrating! Nonetheless it is done and here we are.

So today is the first snow day in St. Louis. It is absoutely beautiful out. I can say that because I am inside snuggled and warm. Snuggled and warm. There are little chores to be done around the house. There are books I could be reading. A bible I could be studying but instead I choose to cozy up to my oh so frustrating technology to keep me company. And I sit here now asking myself why. I know at the end of this day I will regret having done nothing, yet everyday I'm off I have to convince myself to be a productful human being.

My bed will always call my name. I will just have to choose to not listen. The computer will always try to lure me in for hours on end. I must choose to walk away. The TV will always offer hours of mind numbing activity but I must choose to use my mind. I find that when I have nothing to do I literally do nothing but when I have an agenda I get so much more done. How I wish I could be more motivated and not look back on days wishing I had done something more, loved Jesus more.

It's now 12:45 and I am still in my pjs, which I don't regret, and still haven't met with my savior.I guess this is where I find my real dilema. I have become so selfish with my time yet in that selfishness I'm not really being selfish. I'm simply choosing to give my time away to meaningless things, while the most meaningful person in my life I put on standby. Until I'm bored enough, inspired enough, or guilted enough. Ouch! My laziness has shifted from physical to spiritual. I have repeatedly choosen fine over best and found myself in the hole of fine which is actually waste. I am wasting not just this beautiful snow day, a lovely day off, my time right now, but in essence my life.

I want my life to be characterized by doing and being a believer when the times are good and time is in excess. When things are rushed and bad I some how mangage to find time because I know I need Him. When time is nothing and life is good, then, then I find myself becoming my own savior. Oh how I need HIM! I can't even save myself from my own technology woes, what makes me think I can save myself on any given lazy day.