Truth. This is it. He is true to His word. I often don't believe it or really wrestle to grasp onto it and believe it for myself. But my friends He has proven Himself faithful in this over and over and over again in my own life and in others. IT'S TRUE!
This whole process of finally putting my hand to the plow of missions has been revealing, convicting, painful, scary, and full of blessing, joy, purpose, and beauty. I've had some major reservations about pursuing long term missions for years. From simple logistics to down right fear. I have run laps on this spectrum. But let me tell you that when I did finally give myself away to Him to be used completely and fully for and by Him, much blessing came. Let me also say a tithe can and should be money given to the purposes of God through His body, the church. And there is blessing to be had in that. But a tithe can also be anything you set apart as an offering to God; your time, resources, energies, self.
Now, I don't wish to give you the wrong impression that I somehow magically came to this point of easily surrendering myself to God; to be used by Him however He wished. I don't really know of any Christ follower who could say they EASILY surrendered. What I can say is that by His grace and His Spirit's leading I am acting and believing in ways I didn't feel capable of in times past.
I'm a procrastinator. Oh I hate the anxiety of not knowing if I'll make the deadline but I love the thrill of waiting to the last minute and making the deadline. And that thrill wins out most times. In this desire for missions there were reservations and also my complicated love of procrastinating. After pouring my heart out to the Lord again and submitting my life to His will whatever the cost again, He broke through my years of procrastinating tendencies to move me to act quickly on an opportunity to serve in London this summer. Blessing #1.
I have some sin issues. And by some I mean lots. Some that I'm aware of and others that I'm not yet cognizant of. Some of these sin issues revolve around the area of money and pride. In being accepted by the organization to go on this trip, participants were asked to examine their finances and see if there were any places of known sin and to repent of them. Immediate conviction was followed by immediate obedience. I was moved to go back to places where I had been financially sinful and apologize and to set things right. Humbling to say the very least. And another place where I know it was only by God's Spirit motivating me to change. Blessing #2.
Then there was this issue of actually raising support. Lots of doubt about God's calling on my life but also a place of seeing lots of trust that if God wanted me to go He would be the one to provide the way. I truly believed this. So when asked, "Do I Continue?" I could only respond yes. Until God said no or the money stopped coming or the agency rejected me I had to keep going. I have to tell you that today I received my final financial update and I am $670 over my required amount. Blessing #3
That's amazing right?! To go from a place of not knowing if I would make it to being far over my goal. But the place where I have found the most joy, excitement and encouragement is in the 34 of you who supported me and the countless number of you who have prayed for me. You are my blessings. You are what have come from the floodgates of Malachi. You have overflowed my cup so that the joy in my heart brims in my eyes every time I think of you. Blessings #4- 34 and beyond.
So, it is in this revelation of God's provision and urging that I've begun the process of applying for a position in full time missions. While in London I will meet with a different organization and discuss the possibility of serving with them full time beginning next summer. I am shocked and awed by God's ability to move this fearful and trepid girl to a place of boldly wanting to declare Him to the nations. He is indeed in the business of shock and awe.
"Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." Habakkuk 2:3
Welcome to summer... officially!
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